News Bits:

This one takes the cake: The mayor of an Arkansas town resigned on Wednesday, claiming he was abducted and brainwashed by Satan worshippers nearly three decades ago. Better still, there's a video.

Two British adventurers are setting off on a journey across Europe to west Africa in a lorry powered by chocolate.

An Italian teacher has been suspended from school because of her extra-curricular activities as a porn star, local authorities announced Thursday.

This is the world in which you live. You're welcome.