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"To beee or not to be."



As you may have guessed by now, I've sort of gone into Internet hibernation with my morning offerings. With work, Christmas, deadlines, and being somewhat sick, I've holed myself up in my internet cave until the first full week of the new year.

I'll still be around and you'll likely see stuff from me, but it won't be at any rational interval as is usually the case.

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Good Morning, Internets

Things are not always as they seem:

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Wow.

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So What Were Your Favorite Albums/Songs of 2008?

It's the time again...

I'm trying to comprise a list of best/favorite/top albums of the year (songs due, which is quite a different monster on its own). Things is, with the exception of last year, I always forgot about certain releases which may have been in the running. I do request that you not include EPs on the albums lists. However, if you want to make a list EPs, that's swell too.

So, dear digital friends, what tugged at your ears this year?

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Oh, Prohibition. You make me giggle.

Good Morning, Internets

There's a webcomic post dedicated to my hero, Warren Ellis (click here as you probably wont be able to read the text after resizing:

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Oh, you poor bastard.

The Weekly Wank

Presenting The Weekly Wank. 5 random tracks. 5 mini reviews/musings (mostly musings today). Keep in mind most of these bastards are hurried as the song's playing (unless it's extremely short, then I pause to at least finish my thought) and probably aren't well articulated. Typos guaranteed.

1. It's All About The Pentiums by Weird Al

Ah, Weird Al. I've been listening to the parody master since I was little. I believe Alapalooza had just come out. This Puff Daddy parody comes from the 1999 record Running With Scissors.

According to Yankovic, he wrote this song three days before the album had to be mastered, which is pretty damn impressive given its strength as a parody. As the title implies, it takes Puffy Daddy's song dedicated to the 100 dollar bill and turns the focus to computer hardware.

Weird Al's an artist you either like or you don't. I've never met anyone in between. If you enjoy self-aware pop culture parodies with a healthy dose of nerd speak, you really can't go wrong with any of his songs. So it all depends on if you're jonesing for a hip-hop parody or not. Despite it's age, it stands as one of his best. It's consistently funny and retains the catchiness of the original track except with better lyrical material.

"All About The Pentiums" also features one of my favorite insults: "You're about as useful as jpegs to Helen Keller."

2. Not Tonight (Live) By Tegan and Sara

This particular version was taken from the live DVD, It's Not Fun, Don't Do It!. I've come to think of "Not Tonight" as a fan single. It seems to be a song that's caught on with most of the fans, played at most shows and put on live releases despite the fact it's never been given a legitimate release as a single.

It's a simple song from the duo's folksier days on If It Was You. Just an acoustic guitar and (I believe) Sara Quinn. However, there's a certain art to simplicity that creates a moment, world or event larger than anything complex. Complexity can be curiously restrictive to the listener's vision.

In "Not Tonight" by creating snapshot of the emotions encompassing the moment, Tegan and Sara tell more about the gravity of the situation than a 5 verse in depth lyrical tale. As with nearly all of Tegan and Sara's music, it's extremely inclusive, allowing for virtually anyone to relate to. I find this extremely important as they could easily jump on the band wagon of women "singer songwriters" who do nothing more than spout trite Lilth Fair-esque verses of manufactured "rebellion" and "defiance."

Excellent band.

3. At The Library by Green Day

How do I possibly remain of objective here with my favorite band of all time? Eh, it's my blog. I don't have to. I love Green Day. I love new Green Day and I love lil' Green Day. And the Green Day playing this song is among the lilest (although technically that rank belongs to Sweet Children).

It's15 or 16 year old Billie Joe pining after some girl in a library. According to the stories, Billie was bored and lonely in the library and saw that even a girl he considered kind of ugly had a boyfriend.

It's lo-fi, low production pop-punk at its finest. I use the term pop-punk pretty broadly, but to me, Green Day has always epitomized the perfect blend to me. I've always preferred (within the genre) a real blend between the two. For some reason, when I was a senior in high school, "At The Library" stuck out from many of the other songs from 1,039 Smoothed Out/Slappy Hours. Not really sure why but I was obsessed with finding live shows with this track. Probably because so few of them ever did.

Also find it funny how people applied the term emo to turn of the century pop-punk as if the genre has never gone in that direction before. I always show them old Green Day lyrics, and they sort of loow at me with this blank cow-like stare as their musical understanding of the world crumbles. OK, that last part may have been hyperbole. Next track.

4. My Life Story by MxPx

One of my favorite tracks off The Ever Passing Moment. Also the last time where I was really into MxPx. I've liked tracks here and there since then, but I just haven't quite connected with them on a whole since this record.

Again, classic hooky pop-punk about a guy who just keeps falling short.

5. Song To Say Goodbye (live acoustic) by Placebo

This is taken from the FM4 Acoustic Radio Sessions (Germany, I think). I love live Placebo. Live acoustic Placebo's a huge bonus. Placebo's never ever finished with their songs. I can't think of an era where they haven't at least slightly altered one of their songs. Speed it up, slow it down, or change the melody altogether. You never really quite know what they'll do.

The only time I can think of not being completely in love with a remake (which I later grew attactched to) was the "2007 version" of 36 Degrees in which they slowed down a song that worked much better with a faster tempo. When they turned "Teenage Angst" into a piano ballad it completely worked, and, as such, it's now the version they play.

"Song To Say Goodbye is fairly straightforward. It's more or less the same song with Brian doing a few key notes differently in his vocals. But then again, I had the feeling they were more satisfied with Meds that any previous album. From what I've heard, the biggest change for songs from that record happens when the finish the title track. For the most part, the songs from this album remain intact with some minor vocal editing from Brian here and there.

Still, it speaks volumes for a band when a live version can be just a strong as a studio track and this is no different. I wouldn't quite say they're interchangable, but you really can't go wrong either way.


Sorry it's been a while and I didn't really review so much as blabbed. But it's been rediculosly hectic with work, the death of Crystal, Christmas, bills, and moving with my brother next month. Until next time, this has been The Weekly Wank.

Now begone.

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Good Morning, Internets

Good Morning, Internets

Over at our video game blog, Shoryuken, Bryant posted what seems to be the most terrifying commercial Nintendo could conceive of. Apparently this only hit the Down Under, so it has been filed as "Reason To Avoid Australia."

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Brilliant Man. Brilliant cause.

Operation: Humble Kanye (proceeds are for Feeding America. No jokes)

Also, for those who pay attention to the newspaper, this week's "Listen Up" column was dedicated to the memory of Crystal Bryant.

Brilliant Man. Brilliant cause.

Operation: Humble Kanye (proceeds are for Feeding America. No jokes)

Also, for those who pay attention to the newspaper, this week's "Listen Up" column was dedicated to the memory of Crystal Bryant.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Operation Humble Kanye

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Good Mourning, Internets

The following video is Crystal Bryant's entry for 93.3 The Planet's commercial contest from late 2006 featuring Daniel Hagerman and Laurie Wood.

Crystal Bryant...

I'm in no position or condition to be eloquent or articulate, but:

I knew Crystal Bryant long before I ever even met her face to face. Back at the advent of MySpace, when it was a legitimate social networking site, Crystal and I became friends due to the fact that we lived in the same area. We shared a handful of mutual acquaintances and, as we came to discover in the future, an intersecting core group of close friends. I think it was nearly 5 months after first talking to Crystal that we first physically met when we almost literally ran into one another at Barnes and Noble.

None of the awkward "so this is you in real life" was present. She just up and hugged me with a confident " 'Sup Myles?" and invited me to play wiffle ball.

Let me tell you, Crystal lays down a mean hug. Each and every one was a bear hug of surprising strength considering the fact she's proportionate to the size of a pixie.

If I were forced to describe Crystal in one word, and, given the circumstance, I feel I am, it would be: dedicated. That girl had incalculable passion. Most of all she loved music and film. She put 110% of her efforts into both.

Early in our friendship, many of my nights were spent trying to deter her attempts to convince me over AIM that (insert band name here) was worth covering for my music column in the newspaper, much to my chagrin. Crystal made friends with many a band and tried her damnedest to get them all the promotion and attendance she could. The one time I remember caving was when a hardcore band called Knucklepuck came to Ground Zero. I felt a band using Disney's The Mighty Ducks films as the source material for their lyrics and name was too hilariously fun an opportunity to pass up.

When our friend Daniel Hagerman fronted The Rocket Boys, Crystal spray painted her own merch to come support them. That's the kind of girl she was.

I don't think Crystal was aware of this, but when she finally got up and moved to Georgia pursuing film school, we were all so fucking proud of her. I never told her. I just figured she knew. And the smile that lit up her face as she recalled her experiences when she came home was priceless. It was a ballsy move and was in no way easy for her, but she took it in stride.

And stride she did. She nearly won the 93.3 The Planet commercial contest. Her commercial ended up falling short at the end to an entry that pretty much only won due to T&A and bad photoshopping. Her commercial featuring Daniel Hagerman and Laurie Wood is the only reason I've paid 93.3 any attention over the last decade. It was well executed and hysterical. Most of all, it was clear Crystal was quickly learning the elements to successfully shoot on film. The girl was destined to go places.

I can spend all day discussing memories of Crystal. I hate to think of phrases along the lines such as "full of life." Referring to Cystral in the past tense seems...unfair. Wrong. I hate it.

I even tried avoid the gravity of the situation...as if it was a terrible thing, but not one that wholly touched me. But there's no way I could avoid it. I know better. And Crystal always was just as damn loud as I was. Impossible to ignore.

Crystal was a true friend. She was loyal, through and through. Regrettably, we admittedly haven't been the close friends I like to remember us as in about an year. Our lives took us in slightly different directions so that we really only spent sparse quality time together over summers and holidays. We both led busy lives in different cities. I understand how that goes. That doesn't make us any less good friends nor does that mean she had little impact on my life.

Crystal Bryant was a spastic, energetic runt of a girl and I loved her for it. One of the very few people I know that tried to make every coming day the new best day of her life. And while it may be far too hard and perhaps a bit morbid to realize it, consider this: Crystal died as she lived. This is a girl who pursued her interests and the things she loved every single day of her life. The Crystal that I know would have seen it like this. You can bet your bottom dollar that this fiery little girl would have preferred to go out living.

Short as it was, Crystal Bryant lived a lifetime. There's a consistent line in Galaxy Quest Hagerman and I love to scream at random. Crystal always thought it hilarious and found herself shouting the same thing at the top of her lungs with us at last year's Christmas party: "Never give up. Never surrender." And she never did. Not once.

Goodbye, my friend. I love you, and you'll never be forgotten.

P.S. Crystal, don't you dare think this gets you out of the 25 bucks you owe me for kissing your then boyfriend on New Years Eve.

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