Endings.

Last night Andrew told me he probably wouldn't be living in Spartanburg next year. A wave of numbness has been the result. I certainly don't want him to stay in town if he's got an aim to do something somewhere else, but at the same time, we've sort have been the rock for one another for about 4 years now.

We don't exactly have deep conversations about our lives often. He's...sort of a "regular guy" in that aspect. It's happened once or twice and there's an unspoken connection. I wouldn't go as far as to say we've become like brothers..but first cousins perhaps.

We've never fought. Never argued. Never even really pissed one another off. We've been relaxed, chill roommates and if we ever had a concern, we simply went up to the other and talked about it. Drama-free. It was the best of living arrangements.

So this depresses me. Vastly.

And now I find myself in the process of thinking what to do next. Try to find a solo place? Move in with some friends? Keep the apartment I have now? There's a lot to consider.

A few people have proposals. Lauren wants me to live with her. As does Margaret Ann. Some have suggested picking up and trying elsewhere.

The thing is..I don't hate Spartanburg. I used to. God, when I was in junior high and high school, I could think of nothing else but getting the hell out of here. But now..I don't know I kind of like it. The people, however, I can't stand. If I could get the people from another city and drop them here, I would.

Back to the subject at hand, this is just the newest (and biggest blow) in my growing dissatisfaction with my human interactions. I don't know what it is, but it seems a very large percentage of people I call friend insist on disappointing me, to varying degrees. And I'm not really certain what to do about it. Half of them are leaving soon, which is somewhat depressing.

At this rate, I may actually be completely alone by this time next year.

I need caffeine.

A Rhapsody of Words: Come In Alone

I'd say I'm re-reading Come In Alone by Warren Ellis as a side reading, but I don't think it's an accurate enough statement. I am constantly reading and rereading this book. Come In Alone has the rare distinction of entirely living up to the promises of the back cover description. Although it comes as no surprise to me, being a devout fan of the mad scientist author that is Uncle Warren, I have found over the years that many books make similar lofty claims only to shank me between the ribs once I've paid my money.

However, Come In Alone does, in fact, take "a hard look at the comic book industry, what it's done right and wrong, and where it needs to go next in order to evolve into an industry that will take itself into the mainstream Warren's candor on the subject may surprised you, but at the same time you'll find yourself contemplating the comics industry from an entirely new perspective. Come In Alone is more than just comics criticism; it is a theology all comic book fans should subscribe to."

It's one of my favorite books it's its own begotten way. And it feels very strange to say that about a nonfiction book. It's a collection of a yearlong series of columns Ellis did for Comic Book Resources in 2000-2001. In this columns, a myriad of topics are discussed: from the idea of pulps and how the superhero genre nearly ruined comics to why the medium is important to amazing drunken diatribes, this book has it all. The man is intensely quotable and many of his ideas are alarmingly flawless (and some prophetic, seeing where the comic industry has gone in the years since the book's publication).

Even if you only have a mild interest in comics, Ellis is too charismatic and entertaining a writer to resist. If you'll allow (and you will), the beginning to the Introduction of the book:

"This book is about comic books.

There we go. Lost about half of you.

Gets worse. This is a collection of columns about the world of comic books written for a website.

And there go the rest.

So it's just you and me. No, don't run away. I have whiskey."

People suspect I love Warren Ellis because he's a far more twisted mind than I, and I love him for it. That's partly true. Also, of any comics writer or author, Ellis, in his own mindfucking way, exhibits such a genuine love for the medium, or rather, the potential of the medium of graphic storytelling. He lives and breathes science fiction. He once offered the quotation (from whom I cannot remember) that "Science fiction is a way of thinking about things." It's not simply aliens and rocket ships (and who doesn't love those old pulps?), but a very serious, alarming mode of fiction than offers a unique vision of things through a different lens, giving a distinct statement on the current state of things in the process.

Science fiction, in essence, is probably the most important genre in literature. It is also the most overlooked and underutilized.

But I digress. I love comic books. Since before I could read, I loved comic books...

Hmmm...I'll continue that later.

But yes, all this rambling to note that I am constantly reading my favorite authors nonfiction piece.

I know. You despite me now. Tough.

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Good Job guys.

A Rhapsody of Words: Oh! You Pretty Things.

Much time has passed since I last posted something other than my daily morning offerings.

I enjoy my new job at Barnes and Noble quite a bit. However, because they're wanting to me to work closely with the other lead, Hannah, in order to see if I'll fit for a full-time position (fingers crossed), I have been opening quite frequently. What this means is i have to pull my slumbering ass out of bed at the ungodly hour of 6 AM, a time when I would prefer to be going to bed.

Working at the office much less, which has made me feel much better, but my free time is still somewhat limited.

Currently listening to an audio interview with Trent Reznor in light of his recent instrumental album, Ghosts I-V. Trent Reznor is one of the few genuine innovative geniuses working today. And I, for one, cannot.fucking.stand. the way Radiohead has been given all this credit for something they a) did not, despite what every whore of a media journalist keeps claiming, do this first nor did they b) fucking do it right.

But I'll save my opinions about all that for a later time, when I have more (times that is, not opinions).

The fascinating interview with Reznor, who's not a "mysterious" about the whole thing as the ponces in Radiohead can be heard here. I'm not sure if it was due to timing or not, but the interview could have made better use of it. Either they were on a clock or he wasn't exactly prepared. Hmmm..now that it's finished, the mp3 doesn't seem to be the complete inteview, hence the brevity. Must search later.

About a month ago, I noted complacency with my romantic life being "as vacuous as ever." I feel like that period is definitely over. It's not like being single is this wretched, horrible thing. Not at all. I have a few wonderful friends with whom I love spending and sharing my time with. But I have no interests. No crushes. It's a bit harder to meet people these days and I just simply haven't. And i do feel the desire for that sort of connection with another person.

OK, so I lied about their being no interests. There is one, sort of. But it's odd. I do have feelings of sorts for someone, but it's one of those situations where I won't bring it up because I all but concretely know that she has no such similar feelings for me. I imagine she feels wehave a BFF/sibling like relationship and likely has no clue at all that I "like" (or whatever) her.

But you know what? That's fine. We're great friends. I love being around her and whenever I actually DO get to hang out with her, we have a blast, goof off, and generally have a maximal amount of fun. Why insert an awkwardness in that? Not that it'd ruin the friendship. There would be an awkward "we're just friends" conversation and eventually we would move on as if nothing happened. But why put myself in that situation if there's no need. It's worth noting that this is not general self consciousness at play. I know this girl and she has never once indicated that she's even remotely interested (in myself or anyone else for that matter) nor has she moved on from her past relationship (she may have now, but I know it still haunts her).

The fact is that I care a lot about her. And that's enough. People are under the assumption, whether through selfishness, pride, or the movies, that just because one person develops feelings for someone, that other person has an obligation to feel or to consider to feel the same way. And that's not the case. It's a gift to feel that way about someone and know that they're important to you. And if at all possible, you want to help make their life better. That's caring about someone.

That said, I would like to fall for someone, with the chance that feelings will be reciprocated. But these days, it seems to be asking a lot. Perhaps more on this later.

Also lied about my friends. Virtually all of my friends have been M.I.A. lately. No one answers their phone or calls back, with the rare exception of Bryant. A number of my friends are going through or went through break-ups, called me to talk with them, and then sort of forgot about me soon after. I'm a bit agitated with all of my friends right now with a few exceptions. Or as the great compilation that had Billie Joe Armstrong's (Green Day) acoustic version of "Life During Wartime" put it: bored, lonely, and a little pissed off. That sort of covers it.

My caffeine rush is wearing off and the screen blurs now and then to mock me. Sneaking power naps at work ftw.

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So...where do I apply?

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Wouldn't be shocked one bit, honestly. And that's the sad part.

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So essentially...experts fail.

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Watch the entirety of this video. The unabashed idiocy and ignorance is absolutely amazing, especially in the video's last three minutes.

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While awesome, this can only end badly.

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"Hey there...big boy..."

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....kay.

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Here's a soberingly creepy photo for all you St. Patty's recoverees.

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My day off, so I sleep in.

Anywho...my friend Crystal Bryant is attending her first year at film school in Atlanta at...Film School In Atlanta. A few of her videos, but unfortunately not her hilarious 93.3 audition ad, are available for viewing on her Video page on MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/metalinmyspine), which I encourage you to keep an eye on. For now, take a look at her entertaining little piece, The Great Gallon Challenge.

Check out this video: The Great Gallon Challenge

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Open at Barnes tomorrow..so it's Christmas come early today. Found this fascinating:
"Velcro, 94x magnification when viewed at 100% taken with a Nikon SMZ1500 Stereomicrosope coupled with a Spot Insight Digital Color Camera"

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World's largest fondue

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The...Homeless Ranger? I take it the Subwayzord was just never a big hit.

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This thing creeps me out.

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As I have announced, I am back. I have a sneaking suspicion that many people in my area think this is what heaven must look like.

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