Assess The Mess

Recently, I've found myself watching a number great or really good films blow it. And in every case that's occurred over the past month, the movie simply falls apart or otherwise blows it at the very end.

TekkonKinkreet, for example. Beautiful anime, touching story. Bullshit ending. I discovered Warren Ellis felt the same. I'll offer his words so..well..I don't have to. "If you can stop watching it after 80 minutes or so, you can walk away knowing you watched something that ranged from pretty good to very beautiful. Watch it to the end and you’ll spend the rest of the night looking for someone to kick the shit out of. Ideally the writer and/or director. The film’s descent into utter bubbling gibberish is quite astonishing. The original manga was never exactly shining literature or anything, but it never stopped partway through and said, “Ah, fuck it, this is how it ends, bang bang, happy ending, I’m going home, bollocks to all of you.” "

Same goes for Beowulf, really. Fucking brilliant animation. There genuinely are moments where it was difficult to discern whether or not the figures where animated or live actors. The poem's story was adapted and reworked because to attempt to faithfully adapting an oral poem that's been retranslated more times than Paris Hilton's given fellatio would be monumentally mad. To want to see said adaptation means I should just put you out of everyone's misery. So, while flawed, Beowulf maintained to be pretty entertaining...until this irritating pretentious ending that pretty much told the viewer to go fuck themselves. I don't know exactly if this was Gaiman (not really his style) or Avary's decision (or either), but there's open ended, leaving it up to the audience and then there's "HAH! Got your 8 bucks!" While I maintain that Beowulf was a good little flick, the praise would have been much higher if the indecisive ending didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Which brings us to Frank Darabont's adaptation of Stephen King's The Mist. I'm a defender of film adaptations. Anyone can tell you that. Even as a fan of the source material, I always understand that the film is a different beast. As a result, I've loved all the Harry Potter films and the like. Hell, despite it blaspheming the original story, I still enjoy Constantine. I heard in advance that the ending to The Mist would be bleaker than the short story, which I thought interesting given that though the story was open-ended, it was fairly bleak.

But holy balls did they ruin a magical fucking movie. Darabont was the perfect choice for director. He treated the material seriously despite it's B-movie story and did not lower himself to pull the MTV music video crap style directing that's been used so much in pieces of trash like Saw and Boogeyman. The camera was a curious eye amidst the confusion and chaos. Tom Jane, who did an excellent job as the everyman, did not all of a sudden become an action hero. He remain just a regular guy trying to get through this catastrophe. As a result, he stumbled, tripped, and lost his nerve like anyone would do.

Each character felt real and unforced in addition to not feeling as if they were cut from a tray of stock characters. And the soundtrack! Expertly used. There was virtually no sound through much of the film, which greatly added tension at all the right moments and further proves that a more reserved approach to scores would make much more effective horror films. Everything came together magically....and then came that fucking ending. Not only is it a bit tacked on, it's fucking cruel. And dark not in the way that movies which don't end happily or well tend to be. Just mean. And to rub salt to the wound, it adds this clearly unintentional yet wholly creepy (not in a good way) vindication of the insane religious rants peppered throughout the film. I truly hope there's an alternate ending on the DVD release. It doesn't ruin the movie,. I'd still recommend it, but it comes close.

Seriously, up until the ending, The Mist was perhaps one of the best horror movies in years.

I'd discuss the iffiness of Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium, but it's not really worth it. The movie's extremely cute and at times fun, but the ending is a bit underdone. It definitely inspires you to own your own toy shop. However, the movie isn't written to be anything more than a movie kids can enjoy, so, it doesn't really matter who's underwritten and so on and so forth. It's a turn your brain off and try to enjoy sort of movie. Could have been better, sure, but not a waste.

Last, and surprisingly not least, on the list is The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys. First, why doesn't Kieran Culkin get more parts? He's fucking amazing. I am glad to see Emile Hirsch is getting love these days, especially after his performance in Into the Wild. Fortunately, The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys didn't suffer an ending that ruined the movie, but it was a bit weak. The last scene felt completely tacked on, as if done at the last second before wrapping. The movie is strong enough that it doesn't weaken the whole of the film, but it does make you wish that it either ended with scene directly before or added a bit more closure on what happened with Emile Hirsch and Jena Malone's characters. Still, excellent little movie. And I can't understand why Kieran Culkin isn't a fucking star. Damn shame.