Good Morning, Internets

One day, I'll stop finding the existence of things like these funny. Today is not that day.

Good Morning, Internets

I post this merely to make my friends who are champions of all things Nintendo cry

Good Morning, Internets

"The presidency, yes? We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses. Wicked, tricksy, false! "

Good Morning, Internets

"The..uh..Harley's in the shop."

Harbinger

I'm tearing open the sky within my mind...

Stay Tuned.

Good Morning, Internets

Take note. If I ever get married, this is the cake I want:

There's A Fine Line Between Living A Life and Feeling Alive

I'm beginning to suspect that I've become accustomed or complacent to the fact that things continually fail to work out in my favor. My friend Lauren once stated that I was one of the most hopeful people she ever met...and I don't know if that's necessarily true anymore.

I refuse to announce something as cliche as "I've lost all hope" or something equally melodramatic, but rather, I feel like I'm getting more and more numb to things that do or don't happen. Something goes bad and I just sigh and think "Oh well," and just daze off.

This is not necessarily a new occurrence in my head, but it's certainly something that grew. Initially, I thought I was simply dealing with the shit going on around me when, in actuality, the opposite was occurring. I'm not dealing with anything. I'm just simply not acknowledging the existence of anything outside my daily grind, and then slowly reflecting on things while sitting in the dark and listening to music before I got to sleep.

It's been over half a year since I've cried at all. Even a little. I've tried to even make myself because I feel like I'd might feel a little better. And there are times when I've felt my eyes begin to water, then I take a deep breath and it's as if my brain completely switches gears and the feeling disappears without a trace. I don't think this particularly healthy. More like building a dam which is doomed to eventually break and overflow. Won't that be fun.

I just feel like I can't win. Like no matter what I do...I'm defeated. Whether it be shit with one of my four jobs, the void that is my romantic life, or dealing with things relating to my friends and/or family. Sometimes I feel if one of those things would be a bit more positive or show some promise, my outlook would possibly change. And I think this desire to see that change takes over when the possibility presents itself, especially when dealing with things of the romantic nature (or possibility), which makes everything so much worse when it inevitably blows up in my face.

Perhaps I just refuse to flat out admit that I'm unhappy...but I don't think so. More than anything, I believe it's frustration with nothing working out and my inability to understand why things constantly fail to go in my favor.

God I can't stand it when I whine pathetically, but I do it so well I suppose.

Binary Heart Attack!

I'm becoming more and more aware that the internet has, after failing so many times, finally broken my brain.

It's come not at all in the way I expected. It wasn't some image that defied god and any shred of moral sanctity. The internet plays not these games and it is well aware I've become immune to such things. It was much more subtle than one would believe: the internet destroyed my ability to read text messages.

And no, it did not fling some eye AIDS at me that rendered my ability to read cell phone screens null and void.

I try to convey tone as best I can when representing myself in any digital form. Whether I'm excited, sad, or irritated, it's important that I get how I feel across in either the syntax or punctuation because when someone can't hear you, it's monumentally difficult to figure out what the bloody hell someone means.

However, most people (particularly people I just met or don't know very well) I know do not think the same way. They may not realize it, but texting simply to someone who is conscious about these things (and also an English major so it's hard NOT to read into it) makes figuring out what, if anything, someone means all the more difficult.

You see, being short and monosyllabic online in venues such as message boards or even AIM conversations gives off the implication you're irritated, sarcastic, or simply do not want to be bothered.

So when people are like 'Thanks." "Ok." or any other variation over text, it leads me to believe I'm bothering the other person, when in all likelihood, I'm probably not. Unfortunately, my self-conscious nature takes over and strangles me with a lingering insecurity that I am powerless to shake.

Well played, Internets.

But I will have you yet.

Good Morning, Internets

Good Morning, Internets

Depictions of me as a youth:

Good Morning, Internets

Good Morning, Internets

Good Morning, Internets

Good Morning, Internets

"Well, it looks like the forecast predicts a long, hard period of moisture, with the chance of possible flurries of the white stuff if the condition holds"

Good Morning, Internets