Endings.

Last night Andrew told me he probably wouldn't be living in Spartanburg next year. A wave of numbness has been the result. I certainly don't want him to stay in town if he's got an aim to do something somewhere else, but at the same time, we've sort have been the rock for one another for about 4 years now.

We don't exactly have deep conversations about our lives often. He's...sort of a "regular guy" in that aspect. It's happened once or twice and there's an unspoken connection. I wouldn't go as far as to say we've become like brothers..but first cousins perhaps.

We've never fought. Never argued. Never even really pissed one another off. We've been relaxed, chill roommates and if we ever had a concern, we simply went up to the other and talked about it. Drama-free. It was the best of living arrangements.

So this depresses me. Vastly.

And now I find myself in the process of thinking what to do next. Try to find a solo place? Move in with some friends? Keep the apartment I have now? There's a lot to consider.

A few people have proposals. Lauren wants me to live with her. As does Margaret Ann. Some have suggested picking up and trying elsewhere.

The thing is..I don't hate Spartanburg. I used to. God, when I was in junior high and high school, I could think of nothing else but getting the hell out of here. But now..I don't know I kind of like it. The people, however, I can't stand. If I could get the people from another city and drop them here, I would.

Back to the subject at hand, this is just the newest (and biggest blow) in my growing dissatisfaction with my human interactions. I don't know what it is, but it seems a very large percentage of people I call friend insist on disappointing me, to varying degrees. And I'm not really certain what to do about it. Half of them are leaving soon, which is somewhat depressing.

At this rate, I may actually be completely alone by this time next year.

I need caffeine.