The Weekly Wank

Presenting The Weekly Wank. 5 random tracks. 5 mini reviews/musings (mostly musings today). Keep in mind most of these bastards are hurried as the song's playing (unless it's extremely short, then I pause to at least finish my thought) and probably aren't well articulated. Typos guaranteed.

1. It's All About The Pentiums by Weird Al

Ah, Weird Al. I've been listening to the parody master since I was little. I believe Alapalooza had just come out. This Puff Daddy parody comes from the 1999 record Running With Scissors.

According to Yankovic, he wrote this song three days before the album had to be mastered, which is pretty damn impressive given its strength as a parody. As the title implies, it takes Puffy Daddy's song dedicated to the 100 dollar bill and turns the focus to computer hardware.

Weird Al's an artist you either like or you don't. I've never met anyone in between. If you enjoy self-aware pop culture parodies with a healthy dose of nerd speak, you really can't go wrong with any of his songs. So it all depends on if you're jonesing for a hip-hop parody or not. Despite it's age, it stands as one of his best. It's consistently funny and retains the catchiness of the original track except with better lyrical material.

"All About The Pentiums" also features one of my favorite insults: "You're about as useful as jpegs to Helen Keller."

2. Not Tonight (Live) By Tegan and Sara

This particular version was taken from the live DVD, It's Not Fun, Don't Do It!. I've come to think of "Not Tonight" as a fan single. It seems to be a song that's caught on with most of the fans, played at most shows and put on live releases despite the fact it's never been given a legitimate release as a single.

It's a simple song from the duo's folksier days on If It Was You. Just an acoustic guitar and (I believe) Sara Quinn. However, there's a certain art to simplicity that creates a moment, world or event larger than anything complex. Complexity can be curiously restrictive to the listener's vision.

In "Not Tonight" by creating snapshot of the emotions encompassing the moment, Tegan and Sara tell more about the gravity of the situation than a 5 verse in depth lyrical tale. As with nearly all of Tegan and Sara's music, it's extremely inclusive, allowing for virtually anyone to relate to. I find this extremely important as they could easily jump on the band wagon of women "singer songwriters" who do nothing more than spout trite Lilth Fair-esque verses of manufactured "rebellion" and "defiance."

Excellent band.

3. At The Library by Green Day

How do I possibly remain of objective here with my favorite band of all time? Eh, it's my blog. I don't have to. I love Green Day. I love new Green Day and I love lil' Green Day. And the Green Day playing this song is among the lilest (although technically that rank belongs to Sweet Children).

It's15 or 16 year old Billie Joe pining after some girl in a library. According to the stories, Billie was bored and lonely in the library and saw that even a girl he considered kind of ugly had a boyfriend.

It's lo-fi, low production pop-punk at its finest. I use the term pop-punk pretty broadly, but to me, Green Day has always epitomized the perfect blend to me. I've always preferred (within the genre) a real blend between the two. For some reason, when I was a senior in high school, "At The Library" stuck out from many of the other songs from 1,039 Smoothed Out/Slappy Hours. Not really sure why but I was obsessed with finding live shows with this track. Probably because so few of them ever did.

Also find it funny how people applied the term emo to turn of the century pop-punk as if the genre has never gone in that direction before. I always show them old Green Day lyrics, and they sort of loow at me with this blank cow-like stare as their musical understanding of the world crumbles. OK, that last part may have been hyperbole. Next track.

4. My Life Story by MxPx

One of my favorite tracks off The Ever Passing Moment. Also the last time where I was really into MxPx. I've liked tracks here and there since then, but I just haven't quite connected with them on a whole since this record.

Again, classic hooky pop-punk about a guy who just keeps falling short.

5. Song To Say Goodbye (live acoustic) by Placebo

This is taken from the FM4 Acoustic Radio Sessions (Germany, I think). I love live Placebo. Live acoustic Placebo's a huge bonus. Placebo's never ever finished with their songs. I can't think of an era where they haven't at least slightly altered one of their songs. Speed it up, slow it down, or change the melody altogether. You never really quite know what they'll do.

The only time I can think of not being completely in love with a remake (which I later grew attactched to) was the "2007 version" of 36 Degrees in which they slowed down a song that worked much better with a faster tempo. When they turned "Teenage Angst" into a piano ballad it completely worked, and, as such, it's now the version they play.

"Song To Say Goodbye is fairly straightforward. It's more or less the same song with Brian doing a few key notes differently in his vocals. But then again, I had the feeling they were more satisfied with Meds that any previous album. From what I've heard, the biggest change for songs from that record happens when the finish the title track. For the most part, the songs from this album remain intact with some minor vocal editing from Brian here and there.

Still, it speaks volumes for a band when a live version can be just a strong as a studio track and this is no different. I wouldn't quite say they're interchangable, but you really can't go wrong either way.


Sorry it's been a while and I didn't really review so much as blabbed. But it's been rediculosly hectic with work, the death of Crystal, Christmas, bills, and moving with my brother next month. Until next time, this has been The Weekly Wank.

Now begone.