Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

"To beee or not to be."

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As you may have guessed by now, I've sort of gone into Internet hibernation with my morning offerings. With work, Christmas, deadlines, and being somewhat sick, I've holed myself up in my internet cave until the first full week of the new year.

I'll still be around and you'll likely see stuff from me, but it won't be at any rational interval as is usually the case.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Things are not always as they seem:

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Friday, December 19, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

So What Were Your Favorite Albums/Songs of 2008?

It's the time again...

I'm trying to comprise a list of best/favorite/top albums of the year (songs due, which is quite a different monster on its own). Things is, with the exception of last year, I always forgot about certain releases which may have been in the running. I do request that you not include EPs on the albums lists. However, if you want to make a list EPs, that's swell too.

So, dear digital friends, what tugged at your ears this year?

Good Morning, Internets

Oh, Prohibition. You make me giggle.

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

There's a webcomic post dedicated to my hero, Warren Ellis (click here as you probably wont be able to read the text after resizing:

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Thursday, December 11, 2008

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Weekly Wank

Presenting The Weekly Wank. 5 random tracks. 5 mini reviews/musings (mostly musings today). Keep in mind most of these bastards are hurried as the song's playing (unless it's extremely short, then I pause to at least finish my thought) and probably aren't well articulated. Typos guaranteed.

1. It's All About The Pentiums by Weird Al

Ah, Weird Al. I've been listening to the parody master since I was little. I believe Alapalooza had just come out. This Puff Daddy parody comes from the 1999 record Running With Scissors.

According to Yankovic, he wrote this song three days before the album had to be mastered, which is pretty damn impressive given its strength as a parody. As the title implies, it takes Puffy Daddy's song dedicated to the 100 dollar bill and turns the focus to computer hardware.

Weird Al's an artist you either like or you don't. I've never met anyone in between. If you enjoy self-aware pop culture parodies with a healthy dose of nerd speak, you really can't go wrong with any of his songs. So it all depends on if you're jonesing for a hip-hop parody or not. Despite it's age, it stands as one of his best. It's consistently funny and retains the catchiness of the original track except with better lyrical material.

"All About The Pentiums" also features one of my favorite insults: "You're about as useful as jpegs to Helen Keller."

2. Not Tonight (Live) By Tegan and Sara

This particular version was taken from the live DVD, It's Not Fun, Don't Do It!. I've come to think of "Not Tonight" as a fan single. It seems to be a song that's caught on with most of the fans, played at most shows and put on live releases despite the fact it's never been given a legitimate release as a single.

It's a simple song from the duo's folksier days on If It Was You. Just an acoustic guitar and (I believe) Sara Quinn. However, there's a certain art to simplicity that creates a moment, world or event larger than anything complex. Complexity can be curiously restrictive to the listener's vision.

In "Not Tonight" by creating snapshot of the emotions encompassing the moment, Tegan and Sara tell more about the gravity of the situation than a 5 verse in depth lyrical tale. As with nearly all of Tegan and Sara's music, it's extremely inclusive, allowing for virtually anyone to relate to. I find this extremely important as they could easily jump on the band wagon of women "singer songwriters" who do nothing more than spout trite Lilth Fair-esque verses of manufactured "rebellion" and "defiance."

Excellent band.

3. At The Library by Green Day

How do I possibly remain of objective here with my favorite band of all time? Eh, it's my blog. I don't have to. I love Green Day. I love new Green Day and I love lil' Green Day. And the Green Day playing this song is among the lilest (although technically that rank belongs to Sweet Children).

It's15 or 16 year old Billie Joe pining after some girl in a library. According to the stories, Billie was bored and lonely in the library and saw that even a girl he considered kind of ugly had a boyfriend.

It's lo-fi, low production pop-punk at its finest. I use the term pop-punk pretty broadly, but to me, Green Day has always epitomized the perfect blend to me. I've always preferred (within the genre) a real blend between the two. For some reason, when I was a senior in high school, "At The Library" stuck out from many of the other songs from 1,039 Smoothed Out/Slappy Hours. Not really sure why but I was obsessed with finding live shows with this track. Probably because so few of them ever did.

Also find it funny how people applied the term emo to turn of the century pop-punk as if the genre has never gone in that direction before. I always show them old Green Day lyrics, and they sort of loow at me with this blank cow-like stare as their musical understanding of the world crumbles. OK, that last part may have been hyperbole. Next track.

4. My Life Story by MxPx

One of my favorite tracks off The Ever Passing Moment. Also the last time where I was really into MxPx. I've liked tracks here and there since then, but I just haven't quite connected with them on a whole since this record.

Again, classic hooky pop-punk about a guy who just keeps falling short.

5. Song To Say Goodbye (live acoustic) by Placebo

This is taken from the FM4 Acoustic Radio Sessions (Germany, I think). I love live Placebo. Live acoustic Placebo's a huge bonus. Placebo's never ever finished with their songs. I can't think of an era where they haven't at least slightly altered one of their songs. Speed it up, slow it down, or change the melody altogether. You never really quite know what they'll do.

The only time I can think of not being completely in love with a remake (which I later grew attactched to) was the "2007 version" of 36 Degrees in which they slowed down a song that worked much better with a faster tempo. When they turned "Teenage Angst" into a piano ballad it completely worked, and, as such, it's now the version they play.

"Song To Say Goodbye is fairly straightforward. It's more or less the same song with Brian doing a few key notes differently in his vocals. But then again, I had the feeling they were more satisfied with Meds that any previous album. From what I've heard, the biggest change for songs from that record happens when the finish the title track. For the most part, the songs from this album remain intact with some minor vocal editing from Brian here and there.

Still, it speaks volumes for a band when a live version can be just a strong as a studio track and this is no different. I wouldn't quite say they're interchangable, but you really can't go wrong either way.


Sorry it's been a while and I didn't really review so much as blabbed. But it's been rediculosly hectic with work, the death of Crystal, Christmas, bills, and moving with my brother next month. Until next time, this has been The Weekly Wank.

Now begone.

Good Morning, Internets

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Friday, December 5, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Over at our video game blog, Shoryuken, Bryant posted what seems to be the most terrifying commercial Nintendo could conceive of. Apparently this only hit the Down Under, so it has been filed as "Reason To Avoid Australia."

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Brilliant Man. Brilliant cause.

Operation: Humble Kanye (proceeds are for Feeding America. No jokes)

Also, for those who pay attention to the newspaper, this week's "Listen Up" column was dedicated to the memory of Crystal Bryant.

Brilliant Man. Brilliant cause.

Operation: Humble Kanye (proceeds are for Feeding America. No jokes)

Also, for those who pay attention to the newspaper, this week's "Listen Up" column was dedicated to the memory of Crystal Bryant.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Good Mourning, Internets

The following video is Crystal Bryant's entry for 93.3 The Planet's commercial contest from late 2006 featuring Daniel Hagerman and Laurie Wood.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Crystal Bryant...


I'm in no position or condition to be eloquent or articulate, but:

I knew Crystal Bryant long before I ever even met her face to face. Back at the advent of MySpace, when it was a legitimate social networking site, Crystal and I became friends due to the fact that we lived in the same area. We shared a handful of mutual acquaintances and, as we came to discover in the future, an intersecting core group of close friends. I think it was nearly 5 months after first talking to Crystal that we first physically met when we almost literally ran into one another at Barnes and Noble.

None of the awkward "so this is you in real life" was present. She just up and hugged me with a confident " 'Sup Myles?" and invited me to play wiffle ball.

Let me tell you, Crystal lays down a mean hug. Each and every one was a bear hug of surprising strength considering the fact she's proportionate to the size of a pixie.

If I were forced to describe Crystal in one word, and, given the circumstance, I feel I am, it would be: dedicated. That girl had incalculable passion. Most of all she loved music and film. She put 110% of her efforts into both.

Early in our friendship, many of my nights were spent trying to deter her attempts to convince me over AIM that (insert band name here) was worth covering for my music column in the newspaper, much to my chagrin. Crystal made friends with many a band and tried her damnedest to get them all the promotion and attendance she could. The one time I remember caving was when a hardcore band called Knucklepuck came to Ground Zero. I felt a band using Disney's The Mighty Ducks films as the source material for their lyrics and name was too hilariously fun an opportunity to pass up.

When our friend Daniel Hagerman fronted The Rocket Boys, Crystal spray painted her own merch to come support them. That's the kind of girl she was.

I don't think Crystal was aware of this, but when she finally got up and moved to Georgia pursuing film school, we were all so fucking proud of her. I never told her. I just figured she knew. And the smile that lit up her face as she recalled her experiences when she came home was priceless. It was a ballsy move and was in no way easy for her, but she took it in stride.

And stride she did. She nearly won the 93.3 The Planet commercial contest. Her commercial ended up falling short at the end to an entry that pretty much only won due to T&A and bad photoshopping. Her commercial featuring Daniel Hagerman and Laurie Wood is the only reason I've paid 93.3 any attention over the last decade. It was well executed and hysterical. Most of all, it was clear Crystal was quickly learning the elements to successfully shoot on film. The girl was destined to go places.

I can spend all day discussing memories of Crystal. I hate to think of phrases along the lines such as "full of life." Referring to Cystral in the past tense seems...unfair. Wrong. I hate it.

I even tried avoid the gravity of the situation...as if it was a terrible thing, but not one that wholly touched me. But there's no way I could avoid it. I know better. And Crystal always was just as damn loud as I was. Impossible to ignore.

Crystal was a true friend. She was loyal, through and through. Regrettably, we admittedly haven't been the close friends I like to remember us as in about an year. Our lives took us in slightly different directions so that we really only spent sparse quality time together over summers and holidays. We both led busy lives in different cities. I understand how that goes. That doesn't make us any less good friends nor does that mean she had little impact on my life.

Crystal Bryant was a spastic, energetic runt of a girl and I loved her for it. One of the very few people I know that tried to make every coming day the new best day of her life. And while it may be far too hard and perhaps a bit morbid to realize it, consider this: Crystal died as she lived. This is a girl who pursued her interests and the things she loved every single day of her life. The Crystal that I know would have seen it like this. You can bet your bottom dollar that this fiery little girl would have preferred to go out living.

Short as it was, Crystal Bryant lived a lifetime. There's a consistent line in Galaxy Quest Hagerman and I love to scream at random. Crystal always thought it hilarious and found herself shouting the same thing at the top of her lungs with us at last year's Christmas party: "Never give up. Never surrender." And she never did. Not once.

Goodbye, my friend. I love you, and you'll never be forgotten.

P.S. Crystal, don't you dare think this gets you out of the 25 bucks you owe me for kissing your then boyfriend on New Years Eve.

Good Morning, Internets

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

"That's right, America. Eat your turkey. Fill your gullets until sluggish with its succulent flesh... Then, NO ONE will be able to stop me!"

EAT MOR BUNNEZ

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

It's moments like this that get me through the day.

By all means, enter your own caption.

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

What a sneaky bugger. However, if, or rather, WHEN the wind picks up, you're fucked.

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

I could never put my finger on it, but something's always bothered me about Miley Cryus. Like High School Musical, her popularity snuck under my radar until suddenly...she was fucking everywhere. Now, thanks to this interview by a poor, unknowing Ellen DeGeneres, I have my answer: Miley Cryus is, in fact, the Anti-Christ. As Internet Jesus, it is my sworn duty to destroy her.

At first, she appears just like another semi-shy teen starlet. But watch the video in its entirety. At a few moments, you see the Cryus creature crack and the imp released. Notice the uncomfortable terror in Ellen's eyes. The mewling horror before her clearly caught the witty television host off guard.

The beast has arrived.

And she's winning. Look at your television. Your Wal-Marts. CD charts. New Miley Order is already here. And goddammit, we may be to late to stop it.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Beware: English teachers are EVERYWHERE!

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

New Local Video Game Blog: Shoryuken!

My friends and I have just cut the ribbon to Shoryuken!, a new video game blog we put together named after the move from the Street Fighter franchise. It means "Rising Dragon Fist" and the name for move in English versions of the game is the Dragon Punch.

I suppose this, too, is a local blog of sorts (Hi there, Sparkle City!), but I wouldn't say adding an "out-of-towner" is completely out of the question. Here's the introductory post for Shoryken!:

Shoryuken! is a blog about video games.

There goes about 75% of you right now.

The remaining 25% of you, I'm sure, are eager to read the latest in video game news, rumors, and gossip. Yeah. About that. You won't really find that here.

...and there goes another 24%.

Why, hello there 1%! I'm Myles. My cohorts and I will be delivering articles involving video games and the culture surrounding it. If you've read this far, then you likely have a similar curiosity or passion for video games...or you're really fucking bored (Yes, we swear. A lot. Deal.). Forgive the aesthetics, we're still working that out.

Now, come closer. I speak of video games...and I have beer.

Shoryuken! is a reprieve from the detrimental environment of most message boards. A place for video game conversation that's made up of a little bit more than deemings that something "sux" or "ownz." Anyone can offer a one-word review or pontificate over a zinger to tear down a game, but it's more often than not an attempt to look good in front of internet peers (or to agitate them).

We at Shoryuken! hope to spark a little life into video game conversation. There are dozens of news and rumor sites, but very few that really encourage thought about gaming. More often than not, people attempt impress their opinion upon you with their reviews.

We will too, don't you worry!

But most importantly, we want those who take the time to read what we have to say to respond. To engage themselves in conversation with those who love video games as much as you do.

Right now, the blog format suits our needs best. The future may hold a more legitamate website, or even our own *gulp* message board.

Until then, Shoryuken! as it is works for us just fine. Welcome to Shoryuken!

Press Start!

Good Morning, Internets

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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Something sure as hell happened here, but I have no idea what. So ponder, if you will.

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Random Fact Generator

A new online toy I've just discovered. And it's brought me the following delights:

"During a 1956 speech for his campaign of de-Stalinization, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev was asked by an unseen audience member why, as an advisor to the dictator, he had never stopped Stalin from committing his atrocities. Khrushchev immediately lashed out, “Who said that?” The room grew quiet. Khrushchev repeated his query to more silence, waited a beat, and then said, “Well, now you understand why." "

"Cleopatra had a special lipstick made for her, consisting of crushed ants and deep red carmine beetles."

"“Play it again, Sam” is probably the best known quote from the film Casablanca (1942) starring Humphrey Bogart. The problem is, it was never said. It’s a misquote."

"Underneath the striped fur of a tiger, its skin is also striped."

"Two-thirds of the world’s lawyers live in the United States."

"Every year 0.1 percent of BB gun shootings are attempted suicides. That means about 30 people every year try to kill themselves with the tiny pellets."

"Perhaps one of the lowest moments in sports history was perpetrated by the members of the 2000 Spanish Paralympic basketball team. How low did they go? After the team snagged a gold medal, it was revealed that 10 of the 12 players had never been tested, and were, in fact, not mentally challenged."

"Blue eyes are the result of an ancient genetic mutation."

I may make a collection of these a weekly staple. Absolutely fascinating.

Good Morning, Internets

The Japanese "war tubas" were pretty much obsolete not long after their invention. During the first World War and the beginning of WWII the Japanese (and, I believe, the Russians) used these babies to pick up the noise of aircraft engines prior to the introduction of radar.

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Friday, November 14, 2008

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Weekly Wank

Presenting The Weekly Wank. 5 random tracks. 5 mini reviews/musings. Keep in mind most of these bastards are hurried as the song's playing (unless it's extremely short, then I pause to at least finish my thought) and probably aren't well articulated. Typos guaranteed

Here's this week's offerings:

1. Apple Pies and Alibis by The Paper Chase

A track taken from The Paper Chase's nosier debut full length, "Apple Pies and Alibis" is less a focused track and more a bridge between to larger songs. The frenetic energy between two distinct piano melodies: one distinct and structured while the other erratic and directionless. John Congleton can be heard shouting lyrics in the background.

Though The Paper Chase remains one of my favorite bands, Young Bodies Heal Quickly, You Know, the debut full length from which this track is taken, is the album I listen to the least. For me, it's interesting to trace how their sound developed, but I rarely break it out just to play on its own.

2. The Frail by Nine Inch Nails

The first of the many instrumental tracks from Reznor's double disc opus, The Fragile. More a swift, quiet mediation of precise piano playing than a fully developed song that leads into the lit-fuse track that is "The Wretched" (one of my favorite tracks from the record).

3. When Your Heart Stops Beating by +44

The debut single from Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker's first post-Blink 182 project seems to react to how their new music might be viewed by those who carry the baggage and expectations from Blink's past, about which Hoppus sings "We don't give a fuck what the price is/So just leave us to our own devices." That said, +44 continues the same progress Blink 182 was making with its darker self-titled album.

Pop-punk still plays a main role in the Hoppus and Barker's music, but the artists' Cure influences peek out a bit more, especially in the bass licks that sound pulled right from the 80's. Fortunately, +44 never tries to make any sort of revival of 80's rock and only subtly show influences without ever wearing it on their sleeves.

The chorus seems like a reassurance to fans on Hoppus and Barker's part. Since this song was the band's first release, with speculation and anticipation from Blink fans extremely high, the sentiment "I'll be there when your heart stops beating/I'll be there when your last breath's taken away/In the dark when there's no one listening" is a gesture on their part to let the fanbase know, regardless of what moniker the two play under, they're still people the fans can confide in if needed.

It's a fun, catchy pop-rock song that, while never quite reaching Blink territory, does a fine job making its own mark for the band.

4. Get In Line by Barenaked Ladies

As with most Barenaked Ladies songs, "Get In Line" is a clever, tongue-in-cheek pop song that will likely barb itself in your brain for days. Barenaked Ladies is one of those rare groups that don't ever really write bad songs. They may not be a mainstay in my listening rotation or rank among the favorite band list, but the band remains an immensely enjoyable and their light-hearted approach to their music is extremely appreciated.

This song about an exasperated boyfriend who's not too fond of everyone's attentions for his girlfriend is no exception. Sonically, this particular track reminds me of Flood-era They Might Be Giants, which can't be a bad thing.

5. Bedroom Talk by The Starting Line

The lead single off The Starting Line's confessional album, Based On A True Story, details the narrator's first sexual experience and saw the band breaking the traditional pop-punk mold. "Bedroom Talk" is still very much a pop-rock song, but frontman Ken Vasoli's maturation as a vocalist and guitarist allowed the band the opportunity to create more layered pop songs than the simple pop-punk song led by a single guitar riff for three minutes, which became a standard in the genre in the early 2000's and led to the oversaturation that still exists today.

Initially, there was a lot of confusion and concern about the opening line of the chorus" "I'm gonna tear your ass up like we just got married," a line that seems very juvenile and potentially malicious. While probably ill-executed, I remember Vasoli commenting that he never intended to insinuate any violence or unconsented sex. I believe he said something about trying to use popular colloquialisms to gestate what was conceived such a monumental moment, but I can't really remember the gist of it nor can I remember where the interview was from else I'd try to find it. Either way, he did earnestly defend it so that he doesn't come off as a creeper.

Despite that, "Bedroom Talk" is sweet in its own way, and showed The Starting Line veering into a less defined direction, much to the chagrin of their major label representation at Geffen. Not a bad song at all, but not the first track that comes to mind when suggesting TSL to someone.


This has been The Weekly Wank. Now begone.

Good Morning, Internets

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Friday, November 7, 2008

About Last Night: Post-Election Fever and "South Park"

The long haul that was the 2008 Presidential campaign came to a long-needed end on Tuesday evening. I felt it anticlimactic, really. After this exhausting battle between the Obama and McCain camps (Unfortunately, Ross Perot remains the last third party candidate to inspire a large amount of people. Also, many of the third party candidates this time around were batshit crazy.), I expected to see at least a little bit of a contest instead of the landslide Obama victory.

Over the past year, especially within the last week, there has been a lot of yelling, debating and otherwise heated exchanges concerning this election. I saw my end of it earlier this week when I re-posted Craig Ferguson's monologue reiterating the "If you don't vote, you're a moron" segment much to the ire of a few of my friends. Part of it had to do with being called a moron for not voting, part of it was because they completely misunderstood my point, and another part of it was they seemed to misunderstand well...the point.

Regardless of who it was, I had originally prepared a one-size-fits-all three-page response to everyone that tore down their arguments and their assessments of what they perceived as my beliefs and attitudes (which, in every case, was completely wrong) and then trying to one-up it by attacking the "unfunny-ness of Craig Ferguson" (missing the point that the monologue itself was not meant to be funny).

But, I decided it wasn't worth the trouble. Most of them wouldn't listen to what I had to say or would only distort it further and cause a much larger fight. I mean, I didn't feel like arguing about it until next week and I'm sure my friends felt the same. So I've decided the only proper way to solve this issue is as such:

I'm right. You're wrong. Neener neener neener.

Fuck, I feel better already!

Cue South Park, one of the smartest and oft-times most unpredictable shows on television. In Wednesday's episode, "About Last Night," the show began dealing with the aftermath of the election. The show's style of production usually allows Matt and Trey to quickly respond to the world around them. But holy shit. There are many moments in the episode that refer to speeches and moments from Tuesday evening. Parker and Stone's quick wit cannot be stressed enough. To not only have the balls to be the first scripted show to deal with the after-effects of an election that remains extremely sensitive for many people, but to attempt do it the day after said election showcases what mad geniuses Matt and Trey really are. I've heard stories of the boys turning in episodes the day the show aired, but this just takes the cake.

Now, I'm sure they had much of the episode planned or written depending on the victor of Tuesday's election, but there was still more than enough mined from things less than 24 hours earlier to impress even those who aren't the show's biggest fans. And Matt and Trey, as they are known to do, did an excellent job of putting things in perspective and people in their place.

As Travis Fickett explained in IGN's review of the episode, "This is something of a kick-off for healing the wounds caused by what was an increasingly hard-fought and often bitter and divisive election....Matt and Trey seem to be holding up their hands to say "Okay everyone, calm the fuck down. Obama won't bring about world peace and free unicorns for all, nor will he turn the country into a socialist republic or destroy it like an oncoming asteroid." This is something South Park has always been good at – exposing the extremes for what they are: extreme. It's like looking at videotape of yourself drunk: yes, you did say that. And yes, that is the face you make when this trashed. It's embarrassing and eye opening, and all you can really do is laugh and get on with your day."

And that's exactly what we should do. I'm looking at the next four years with a resounding "We'll see."

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Good Morning (And Go Vote), Internets

"If you don't vote, you're a moron. "Not voting is a vote" - no it isn't!! Not voting is just being stupid. Voting is not sexy. Voting is not hip. It is not fashionable. It is not a movie. It is not a videogame. Frankly, voting is a pain in the ass. But here is a word, look it up, it's your duty to vote!

Listen. I am an American. This country is at war right now! Americans in foreign lands wearing uniform representing this country are losing their lives. Americans here in this country are losing their homes. We have two patriotic candidates. Both love this country, but have different ideas what to do with it. Learn about them. Read about them. Question them. Listen to them. Then on Election Day, exercise your sacred right as American and listen to yourself.

How could you be not interested in politics? You have to have an opinion about something! "I'm not interested in politics" - do you live anywhere? Do you shop anywhere? Do you drive a car? Do you put on pants? Do you leave your house at any point? Do you own your house? Do you rent the house? Do you ever hope that the police will save you from something that may or may not be illegal? Of course you are involved in politics! If you are alive you are involved in politics!!" - Craig Ferguson

Re-posting the excellent monologue by Mr. Craig Ferguson, late night's best host. Because some of you people still haven't learned a damned thing.

Monday, November 3, 2008

The Re-Return of The Weekly Wank

As promised, I'm going to jump start The Weekly Wank again. To start off, I'm going re-post the crux of the first attempt (with some editing). The format will largely remain the same for the whole two of you that read the previous incarnation. So here goes nothing:

I was recently introduced to the idea of putting my iPod on shuffle and reviewing the first five songs that play. This is a fantastic idea, and serves as a more interesting form of suggestion/warning others than me waiting for inspiration from the occasional album release that catches my fancy. Though it makes sense to have The Weekly Wank on a concrete schedule, I'm not yet positive if Monday will be the final choice. We'll see.

Additionally, I encourage others to do the same. Use my comments section if you like. And forgive typos.

So without further adieu, I welcome you to The Weekly Wank:

1. "Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl" by Broken Social Scene

I resisted even listening to this song for the longest time due to the fact that the instant the track was released, I found the lyrics posted on nearly every girl I knew's AIM profile, away message, message board signature, blog, and MySpace page. I couldn't escape it, so I simply avoided the damn song out of spite. For those uninitiated, Broken Social Scene is somewhat of an indie rock supergroup containing members of a bevy of respected bands.

Truth be told, this is a fucking excellent song. There is a subtle art to repetition that walks the razor-thin line of maintaining the song and beating the listener over the head. Placebo and Nine Inch Nails have mastered this, and this song is another perfect example. It works best with music electronic in nature; and, while the foundations of the song's music lie in Canadian folk, it has the structure of an electronic track that wouldn't sound alien on a Postal Service album.

Emily Haines' (of Metric) voice was meant for this song. It contains this warm, haunting quality that feeds the repetitious nature of the minimal lyrics like a familiar ghost singing lullabies from an AM radio.

And I cannot resist the lyrics. They're of the pining nature; that undying feeling you get when you hope more than anything the person who tugs on your heartstrings is also thinking of you. It contains a subtle heartbreaking sweetness to it as well as the irresistibly sincere mantra: "
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me..."

As both a music whore and hopeless romantic, I recommend this song for anyone's next mix tape.

2. "Not Gonna Be Alone Tonight" by eve 6
Like most tracks from eve 6's third album, It's All In Your Head, "Not Gonna Be Alone Tonight" finds the band mixing up their power pop-punk sound with this "I Love The 90's"-type of journey into various stages of "alternative" (at least, that's how the album sounded to me, and we all know, above all, I am right).

Musically, this song serves as a strong combination of eve 6's signature sound molded with this dirty Tom Petty rock that wouldn't work if eve 6 didn't commit to it as much as they do. Max Collins treats the song seriously, saving the song from the stink of being gimmicky, but the lacking punch his lyrics usually contain causes the song to be pretty forgetful to anyone who isn't already an eve 6 fan.

While the song is catchy, and not a bad song at all, it's not among eve 6's best work and makes me wonder how this song made the cut but enjoyable songs like "405" never made it past the demo stage.

3. "Rescued" by Jack's Mannequin

I've always contested that Jack's Mannequin is a far superior musical venture for Andrew McMahon than Something Corporate. And I am not going to go on a rant about "emo," thoughI think the word is grossly overused and misunderstood. I say this because Jack's Mannequin is a band you might hear associated with that word. That's fine. But people allow that association to take away from the listening experienec of what may be an excellent, well written track. That finger is better for pointing at bands who do not deserve a tenth of the attention they have received (see: Hawthorne Heights, Taking Back Sunday)

"Rescued" is one of the songs serving as evidence Andrew McMahon never used his abilities as a pianist as a parlor trick. It's a quiet little ballad dealing with
what appears to have been one of many breakoups with the same girl. Dealing with that welcoming of negative emotions that wash over when going through the turbulence of a break-up, McMahon keeps the song simple, not because of his skill, but that it serves the song best.

Moments like this, you feel as if all you can utter are things in simplicity, which oft times end up feeling like revelations. The chorus ends at a place when you think you can handle yourself so long as nothing breaks your immediate concentration; that moment where nothing's good or bad, just a wash of blissful neutrality so that you can collect yourself to deal with whatever comes next: "I'm finally numb, so please don't get me rescued."

This song, like the entire Jack's Mannequin album, Everything In Transit, is definitely worth a spin to those who want something emotive, honest, and somewhat chill to listen to.

4. "Broken Promise" by Placebo (featuring Michael Stipe of R.E.M.)

Michael Stipe and Brian Molko's contrasting voices fit this song like a velvet glove. It begins with a soft tinkling of piano keys as Stipe breathily sings. The song suddenly breaks down into a pounding of electronic beats and guitar work as Brian Molko accompanies him to belt out the chorus. They continue the trend of trading off verses and coming together for the colossal chorus as they play the two sides of of infidelity (Michael the adulterer and Brian the victim).

The song seems to have a sinister vengeful tone from Molko's viewpoint as the chorus goes "I'll wait my turn to tear inside you/Watch you burn/I'll wait my turn." While that may not come off quite as sinister as feelings of anger are obviously understood, the song ends with "I'll bide my time/I'll wait my turn." That sort of scheming seems to indicate that the whole spectacle has made a monster out of the wronged party.

"Broken Promise" is a song that relies on the strength of the vocalists. While the music certain sets the ambiance and carries the structure of the song, the ability of these two distinct voices coming together without clashing makes this song succeed.

An obsessive Placebo fan, I will always wholeheartedly recommend their material. Perhaps not the ideal song to be introduced to the band, but it's an excellent song that allows the listener to bask in the simplicity of the lyrics and complexity of the dramatic stage it sets.

5. "Suicide Uma Schrantz" by P.O.S.

This is a 30-second track of what could easily by tossed aside as a filler track. OK, let's face it, it IS a filler track. But P.O.S. is one of those rare hip-hop artists I just enjoy listening to. He's got an atypical voice for the genre channels the true nature of the style with the rebellious nature of punk rock.

It's a throwaway track, but a little fun. You won't really enjoy this track unless you've heard his work nor will you enjoy it if you're not listening to the P.O.S. album. It's got silly lyrics with references to Suicide Girls and Charles Bronson and actually sounds like it could have made an entertaining full length track, which is unfortunate.

What this track does do is whet the appetite to listen to P.O.S., which I think I will go do right now.

This has been The Weekly Wank.


Now begone.

Good Morning, Internets

Hmmm...

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Friday, October 31, 2008

Construction?

When I first started this incarnation of my blogging, I set out to make this somewhat different than my blog on MySpace. And initially, I kept with that plan. I started up weekly "features," blogged a bit more, and of course, poured my Good Morning, Internets here as well.

Currently, I still update with Good Morning, Internets, but only occasionally blog. Even when I do happen to blog it's generally copied and pasted in my MySpace blog. While I do feel some entries definitely belonged on more than one site (such as my post on Arcade culture), most of the time it was just to keep the guise that I was updating at other sites as well.

So, in the very near future, I'm going to attempt to be a bit more active again. I know, I know. I've said this before. But for reals this time! Pinky swear!

One thing I plan on bringing back is The Weekly Wank. It was a weekly bit where, as my friend suggested, I'd put my iPod on "Shuffle" and review the first 5 songs that came up regardless, even if it was a guilty pleasure, intro, or comp track.

Permitting that I find a decent host, I think I may do a weekly focus on a cover song, and upload the cover in question on the blog. I'm a bit of a sucker for covers.

Must cut this short though, ran out of time quicker than I thought. May spruce the site upa s well...More on this later...

Good (Halloween) Morning, Internets

Now, despite my caustic attitudes towards specific members and denominations of certain religions, I'm a believer in tolerance. To me, though, fundamentalists (of any sort) belong to no religion and only care about their agenda and how the world fits through their vision of things.

Example:

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"Emo's?" I must have missed the part where "Jesus said unto Paul "Ye, thou shalt not take part in thine Taking Back Sunday gathering."

Environmentalists? Loud-Mouthed Women? Liberals? Sports nuts? These people wouldn't know the difference between religion and a Pop Tart.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

These are the people everyone's worried about? They don't look like they can orchestrate a toaster, let alone another fluke attack.

Because they seem like such bright people.

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Monday, October 27, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

I love Supernatural. It started out as a guilty pleasure during season one and become a full-fledged favorite show of mine. It's the best genre show of its ilk since Buffy and Angel. One of it's golden characteristics lies in the show's ability to handle comedy, inside jokes, and know how to have a good time despite the severity of the current story (and this season's a doozy).

This is an extended take from a scene from last week's episode. This take aired after the credits as a gift to fans.

Presenting: the awesome of Jensen Ackles, Dean Winchester himself.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Thursday, October 23, 2008

A Fistful of Quarters: On Missing Arcade Culture

Arcade culture, I miss you dearly.

Home console gaming dissolved arcade culture at a far more alarming rate than video did the radio star. While many fun parks helped keep arcades going in the late 90's, even these establishments let out a death gurgle shortly after the turn of the 21st century.

Time was the arcade was the premiere place to play the cutting edge in gaming. Keep in mind, at the time (early-to-mid-1990's) the cutting edge was dedicated primarily to gaming's biggest cash cow, the fighting game. Now there were plenty other of genres getting love, particularly the side-scrolling brawler (eg X-Men, The Avengers, The Simpsons, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). RPGs in the States, with the exception of perhaps Cadash in '89 were a console-only thriving cult genre and didn't really come into prevalence as far as being in the eyes of the mainstream until the release of Final Fantasy VII on the Sony Playstation.

Before someone jumps down my throat with Chrono Trigger, Secret of Mana and Final Fantasy VI (III US), yes, there were both quality and successful RPGs that did penetrate larger audiences, but those were exceptions. The genre itself did not explode in popularity until FFVII and retro gaming became part of gamer culture. All of a sudden people started "remembering" these classic games from their childhood that they more than likely initially ignored. But don't get me wrong, I love the genre. One of my favorite games and stories of all time is an RPG (Final Fantasy VIII. And I'm aware I'm in the minority on that one).

With the explosive success of Street Fighter II and Mortal Kombat, fighting games became the flavor of choice and we saw and outflow of countless 2D, and soon, 3D, fighting games based off of or improving upon either MK or SFII: Samurai Showdown, King of Fighters, Darkstalkers, Tekken, Battle Arena Toshinden, Soul Edge (leading to the Soul Calibur franchise), Art of Fighting, Killer Instict, Fatal Fury, Virtua fighter and the list goes on and on.

It was these games that drank my quarters away as a kid. And it was at these arcade locations that gaming culture thrived. Before the boom of users on the internet, the arcade held the role of hub for gamers, who were constantly swapping rumors, information, and news on the latest games. Like comic books, video games weren't the staple in American pop culture they are now. People more familiar with/primarily raised in the 21st century aren't cognizant to the fact that comics and gaming used to be associated with something outsiders, geeks, and nerds participated in. It wasn't until about the late 90's that gaming became more accepted into the social consciousness as something people (particularly so-called "cool" people) did. So having a place such as an arcade was an important thing for gaming culture to thrive. Many kids didn't know anyone in their class who played games, so the only people they could associate with were the people they met at arcades.

It was like physically being inside a message board.

Unfortunately, for many of us, once the internet took off, gamers had more of an outlet to discuss games, one of the redeeming factors outside the games themselves left the arcade. The latter factor soon followed.

Beginning with the Playstation, consoles were starting to catch up with arcades graphically. Again, a lot of people take for granted the fact that arcades used to be ahead of the curve when it came to graphics, which helped it stay alive and well along side console gaming. Games were engineered for a specific game, not a console, so developers could push the envelope of what was available at the time. But arcade life post-16 bit systems began looking bleak and arcade culture all but vanished once Playstation 2 and Xbox took over the scene. Sure, some fighters and shooters still survived, but those games could easily be ported to home consoles and look just as good with an easier control pad. Why would someone drive to a location to pay per game when they had the game in the comfort of their own home?

Of course, Japan didn't quite suffer the arcade collapse that we did. It's only now that arcade culture's starting to falter a little. Mostly what remains popular now are interactive games, though various shooting and fighter games from tried and true companies and franchises are still released. It's from this still existing scene that we got games such as Dance Dance Revolution, which helped kick start a near revival in the States.

Arcade gaming has become a cult culture now. The fun parks that do survive and thrive still keep arcade culture alive, but these places are few and far between and many of them do not get newer games such as Street Fighter IV, which will finally come to home consoles in February 2009. A number of arcades have begun popping up across the country, mostly in urban areas as they can survive and deliver the current games.

For places like Spartanburg, we get establishments like Tilt. Tilt, despite it's obviously lower budget, is a valiant effort to bring arcade gaming back to the local Spartanburg area. Now it's overall selection may not be perfect, but they have one of my favorite fighting games Marvel vs Capcom. Really any game from that pitted the Marvel characters against Capcom franchises won my heart (X-Men vs Street Fighter, Marvel Super Heroes vs Street Fighter, Marvel vs Capcom, Marvel vs Capcom 2: Clash of Heroes). And it is this game that I have been frequenting over the past few weeks.

In a sense, arcade gaming serves as a religious experience of sorts for me.

Unlike when I'm gaming at home and the lives of my roommate and I coincide with one another and my escapist concentration is temporarily broken, I enter an urban setting when I'm in the arcade within the bowels of WestGate Mall. The muzak, the symphony of teenagers and their cell phones and the sizzling of the nearby Japanese fast food restaurant crash with the rings, buzzing and caffeinated soundtracks of the arcade's games. Upon entering this chapel of activity, I have a filter on when I reach the lone Marvel vs Capcom machine nestled in the slightly darkened corner of the arcade. The moment I press the button after inserting my quarter, the world around me melts away.

As I bask in the blue-lit glow of the screen, I am absolved.

All the problems plaguing me fade away. My frenetic financial status, my dissatisfaction with my job(s), the fact that one of my most important friends is more than likely having to move half a country away after Christmas, my disintegrating social life, and my everlasting creative rut...all of that ceases to exist for the brief moments I'm playing.

Brief as this reprieve may be, it is priceless.

Simultaneously, it serves as a nostalgic reminder of the bustling culture that thrived inside the confines of the arcade as opposed to outside of it. I really have no idea what kind of business Tilt does as I've never really gone on a weekend. I usually tend to go before what's generally dinner time for everyone else on school days when the lowest amount of people are likely to be at the mall. This way I'm pretty much guaranteed a space in front of the Marvel vs Capcom machine, which is the only game I've managed to get around to playing unless my friend Bryant comes with me and challenges me to SVC (SNK vs Capcom): Chaos.

All I can do is be thankful Tilt exists while it does. The gesture to revitalize a lost gamer culture should be applauded for its efforts.

Insert Coin.

Good Morning, Internets

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

From the good people at WWTDD:

"Madonna said she would kick Sarah Palins ass if she didn't, "get off my street". Whatever the hell that means. Madonna owns the street now, I guess. She did this of course because she thinks Sarah Palins beliefs are ridiculous. Keep in mind that Madonna wears a magic piece of red sting on her wrist to ward off evil spirits, and she believes in spells that can manipulate the laws of nature. I don't know exactly what Sarah Palin is into, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts it's no dumber than wizardry and enchanted yarn."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

The last date you take your cheating girl/boyfriend on: World's Deepest Swimming Pool

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Sad thing is that this could very easily be applied to today and the near future.

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

No, this is not a Photoshop job..

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Epic win.

The boys over at ScritchScratch have launched some pretty chuckle-worthy stuff in the webcomic world, I'm Cyrius (The Cycloctopus!) being my favorite.

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Friday, October 10, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

"YOU! Take the second battalion to the Gumdrop Forest. No retreat, no surrender. That is Candy Land law. And by Candy Land law, we will stand and fight … and die. A new age has begun: an age of freedom!"

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Thursday, October 9, 2008

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

I recall hearing an older gentleman refer to this period as "the good old days" last week.

Also, wish a Happy 21st Birthday to Miss Jennifer Wood, who would happily drink from the colored fountain.

Fangs up, Jen. Fangs up.

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Monday, October 6, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

Superman's Fortress of Solitude Found! What's called the Crystal Cave of Giants located within the Naica Mine in Chihuahua, Mexico.

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Friday, October 3, 2008

Good Morning, Internets

After last night's debate, it's clear there's only one presidential candidate I can put my trust in to carry us into the next decade. One candidate, who has time and again risen above adversity, with little thought to his own safety , to win the day. One man who is without a shadow of a doubt ready to take the reigns of this country.

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Shatner/Hosselhoff
: From Yesterday's Tomorrow For A Better Today


Added bonus: My friend Ned posted this great little video of "Lil' O'Reilly" yesterday

Thursday, October 2, 2008

To Do List

Today, I Hope To...

1. Write/Rant about something
2. Get back to Steve (whoops) from Spartanburg Spark
3. Start planning out my lecture for Wofford
4. Get further in reading my new book

Good Morning, Internets

Michelle Allen was "arrested on one count of disorderly conduct on accusations of getting in the way of traffic on Wilbraham Road and chasing children in her cow suit," Additionally, Allen "urinated on a neighbor's front porch."

Heroic. Udderly. (Zing.)


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