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"That's right, America. Eat your turkey. Fill your gullets until sluggish with its succulent flesh... Then, NO ONE will be able to stop me!"

EAT MOR BUNNEZ

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It's moments like this that get me through the day.

By all means, enter your own caption.

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What a sneaky bugger. However, if, or rather, WHEN the wind picks up, you're fucked.

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I could never put my finger on it, but something's always bothered me about Miley Cryus. Like High School Musical, her popularity snuck under my radar until suddenly...she was fucking everywhere. Now, thanks to this interview by a poor, unknowing Ellen DeGeneres, I have my answer: Miley Cryus is, in fact, the Anti-Christ. As Internet Jesus, it is my sworn duty to destroy her.

At first, she appears just like another semi-shy teen starlet. But watch the video in its entirety. At a few moments, you see the Cryus creature crack and the imp released. Notice the uncomfortable terror in Ellen's eyes. The mewling horror before her clearly caught the witty television host off guard.

The beast has arrived.

And she's winning. Look at your television. Your Wal-Marts. CD charts. New Miley Order is already here. And goddammit, we may be to late to stop it.

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Beware: English teachers are EVERYWHERE!

New Local Video Game Blog: Shoryuken!

My friends and I have just cut the ribbon to Shoryuken!, a new video game blog we put together named after the move from the Street Fighter franchise. It means "Rising Dragon Fist" and the name for move in English versions of the game is the Dragon Punch.

I suppose this, too, is a local blog of sorts (Hi there, Sparkle City!), but I wouldn't say adding an "out-of-towner" is completely out of the question. Here's the introductory post for Shoryken!:

Shoryuken! is a blog about video games.

There goes about 75% of you right now.

The remaining 25% of you, I'm sure, are eager to read the latest in video game news, rumors, and gossip. Yeah. About that. You won't really find that here.

...and there goes another 24%.

Why, hello there 1%! I'm Myles. My cohorts and I will be delivering articles involving video games and the culture surrounding it. If you've read this far, then you likely have a similar curiosity or passion for video games...or you're really fucking bored (Yes, we swear. A lot. Deal.). Forgive the aesthetics, we're still working that out.

Now, come closer. I speak of video games...and I have beer.

Shoryuken! is a reprieve from the detrimental environment of most message boards. A place for video game conversation that's made up of a little bit more than deemings that something "sux" or "ownz." Anyone can offer a one-word review or pontificate over a zinger to tear down a game, but it's more often than not an attempt to look good in front of internet peers (or to agitate them).

We at Shoryuken! hope to spark a little life into video game conversation. There are dozens of news and rumor sites, but very few that really encourage thought about gaming. More often than not, people attempt impress their opinion upon you with their reviews.

We will too, don't you worry!

But most importantly, we want those who take the time to read what we have to say to respond. To engage themselves in conversation with those who love video games as much as you do.

Right now, the blog format suits our needs best. The future may hold a more legitamate website, or even our own *gulp* message board.

Until then, Shoryuken! as it is works for us just fine. Welcome to Shoryuken!

Press Start!

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Something sure as hell happened here, but I have no idea what. So ponder, if you will.

Random Fact Generator

A new online toy I've just discovered. And it's brought me the following delights:

"During a 1956 speech for his campaign of de-Stalinization, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev was asked by an unseen audience member why, as an advisor to the dictator, he had never stopped Stalin from committing his atrocities. Khrushchev immediately lashed out, “Who said that?” The room grew quiet. Khrushchev repeated his query to more silence, waited a beat, and then said, “Well, now you understand why." "

"Cleopatra had a special lipstick made for her, consisting of crushed ants and deep red carmine beetles."

"“Play it again, Sam” is probably the best known quote from the film Casablanca (1942) starring Humphrey Bogart. The problem is, it was never said. It’s a misquote."

"Underneath the striped fur of a tiger, its skin is also striped."

"Two-thirds of the world’s lawyers live in the United States."

"Every year 0.1 percent of BB gun shootings are attempted suicides. That means about 30 people every year try to kill themselves with the tiny pellets."

"Perhaps one of the lowest moments in sports history was perpetrated by the members of the 2000 Spanish Paralympic basketball team. How low did they go? After the team snagged a gold medal, it was revealed that 10 of the 12 players had never been tested, and were, in fact, not mentally challenged."

"Blue eyes are the result of an ancient genetic mutation."

I may make a collection of these a weekly staple. Absolutely fascinating.

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The Japanese "war tubas" were pretty much obsolete not long after their invention. During the first World War and the beginning of WWII the Japanese (and, I believe, the Russians) used these babies to pick up the noise of aircraft engines prior to the introduction of radar.

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Oh, you guys!

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I couldn't resist >:)

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Good Morning, Internets

lolz

Wit for the win.