myles will save us all

Help Me Get To Ireland?(!)

2009-11-09T19:18:00.003-05:00

Hello, dear friends, teachers and people I’ve only met once or twice but have maintained some sort of established communication due to the wonders of modern technology, this is a stick up. OK, not really. I’m not Dillinger, partly because I look ridiculous in those coats and tommy guns weigh too much. However, I am asking for money!

I am trying to go to Ireland during the Christmas holidays to see Claire as a Christmas present to her. Well, both of us, really. Ireland, by the way, is not some idyllic vacation spot. It's where she lives. She's Irish. You know, the sort of people who have a reputation for eating potatoes and getting shot at by the English. I’ve begun pulling in extra hours at all my jobs (when possible), trimming my food budget, restricting my driving to reduce gas usage, and cutting unnecessary spending. Honestly, it doesn’t look too far from what everyone’s been doing lately to deal with the economy, but I’ve been making an effort to stretch it even further.

Unfortunately, with rent, bills, student loans, and the gas/food that I need to buy, saving the considerable sum of money required to fly to Ireland in time is becoming an increasingly improbable goal. The ideal plan is to leave right after Christmas, while the school I work for is still on break, and return around the 3rd of January. While, I’m well aware this is an extremely busy and expensive time to travel, this is the best time slot for me to take this trip since most of my jobs will be out for the holidays or will not need my services as much.

The average price tag for the trip during this time period, as far as I’ve found, is around $1,100, and not getting any cheaper.

So what I’m asking you, dear friends, teachers and people I’ve only met once or twice but have maintained some sort of established communication due to the wonders of modern technology, is to help me out if you can. I know money’s tight and the Christmas season is upon us (earlier every year, I swear), but anything you could donate would be amazing. There are around 480 people on my “Friends List.” Hypothetically, if everyone of those people were to donate $2, I’d be sitting pretty close to the goal.

Realistically, that’s not going to happen. I only imagine about 30 of you fine folks read this far.But the problem and plea remain the same! I figured PayPal would be the best method to take donations, and I can promise that not a cent of anything given will be touched until it’s time to buy a plane ticket.

My e-mail address for PayPal is seiithesunrise@aol.com. And you can just use this address you I provided to the ‘Send Money’ function: http://tinyurl.com/ks23mn (used TinyUrl make the longer address shorter. No tricks here!) or just go to PayPal.com.

Anything you can do would be greatly appreciated by Claire and myself. Even if it’s just $1. It’s a dollar a didn’t have before. And I know my quest is not a charity or orphanage, so if helping my in anyway impedes you from any sort of holiday donating, please donate to charity instead. I wouldn't give it a second thought and I'm not trying to get in the way of that. But if you have anything to spare, send it my way, if you don't mind.

Daniel McAbee, owner of the Tangled Web, donated a shocking amount of $40 this weekend. In a (very) rare moment, I was rendered speechless. So any Christmas buying you have for any comic book-loving people on your list, please give The Tangled Web a visit!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, everyone. I can’t express how much it’s appreciated. I’ll let you know how the quest goes!

[Also, forgive typos/language. Couldn't afford an editor;) ]

Good Morning, Internets

2009-11-04T07:30:00.003-05:00

Um..gulp.

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2009-11-02T07:44:00.000-05:00

Good Morning, Internets

2009-10-16T11:52:00.000-04:00

This is not an image of a Sarlac...or Sandworm. No, this is the mouth of a sea turtle.

Great. One more horror to worry about.

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2009-10-13T09:23:00.000-04:00

I hope Mario is thirsty...

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2009-10-12T13:09:00.003-04:00

I love Penny Arcade so much:

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2009-10-09T12:37:00.001-04:00

Grapes of Wraith...

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2009-10-06T11:02:00.000-04:00

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2009-10-05T13:40:00.001-04:00

My girlfriend showed me this commercial for Frosted Flakes they have in Europe. And really...this explains a lot about those people.

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2009-09-28T12:26:00.003-04:00

I absolutely adore this girl's hair.

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2009-09-23T09:04:00.000-04:00

A rare giant dust storm blankets Sydney, Australian this week.

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2009-09-21T09:44:00.000-04:00

Coming soon....

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2009-09-18T10:01:00.000-04:00

Good Morning, Internets

2009-09-15T09:00:00.001-04:00

There's no Contra in Duck Hunt, but let's imagine there was. Let's fantasy. Let's.

It's Thinking, Internets

2009-09-09T09:24:00.000-04:00

Never Forget. 9.9.99

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2009-09-08T10:53:00.003-04:00

This is a total Myles thing to do.

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2009-09-04T08:55:00.000-04:00

Timon and Pumba!!

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2009-09-01T10:07:00.000-04:00

Oh god. 'Tyler Durden' said it best of the following image:

Seeing bears scale walls on ladders puts us one step from living in “the Golden Compass”, where armored bears form an army of indestructible killing machines, but at least their discovery of this Rosetta Stone, the key to unlocking new ways to catch and eat us, was a random accident that couldn’t be avoided:

"A bear that got stuck in a skateboard park climbed up a ladder to make its escape. The animal had been stuck in the sunken skating bowl overnight and could not get up the steep-sided concrete walls on its own. Officials in the town of Snowmass, Colorado lowered down a long ladder, which the bear walked across before heading back to the woods. The bear was uninjured by its experience."

Well Jesus don’t teach the bears how to climb ladders! We need those walls, to separate the bears from our succulent arms and legs. What’s the second part of your plan, coat doorknobs in honey? Jesus Fuckin Christ, I’m scared to even turn around right now, one of these new Super Bears may have snuck up behind me.

Good Morning, Internets

2009-08-28T10:47:00.001-04:00

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2009-08-25T08:58:00.000-04:00

Taken from a series of rare Star Wars photos taken during "A New Hope.

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2009-08-21T07:59:00.000-04:00

Ashleigh showed me this. Bless her for it.

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2009-08-18T12:12:00.000-04:00

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2009-08-17T13:30:00.001-04:00

Somewhere, Victoria is laughing herself to death.

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2009-08-14T11:08:00.000-04:00

Apologies, friends. It's been a bit hectic here at home base this week.

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2009-08-07T11:36:00.000-04:00

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2009-08-06T09:11:00.001-04:00

We wait until the morrow...then we strike!

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2009-08-03T10:03:00.001-04:00

Wow. What a failure.

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2009-07-29T13:50:00.002-04:00

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2009-07-27T11:29:00.002-04:00

Thank you, Chip N' Dale Rescue Rangers!

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2009-07-24T10:53:00.002-04:00

Wonderful "Before/After."

Go George!

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2009-07-23T13:38:00.002-04:00

"For Suzy B!"

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2009-07-22T11:02:00.001-04:00

A have many friends who would be ecstatic over these

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2009-07-21T09:56:00.001-04:00

Tomfoolery!

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2009-07-20T10:18:00.000-04:00

Uh oh.

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2009-07-16T12:01:00.000-04:00

Serves them right.

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2009-07-15T10:50:00.001-04:00

"Wetting oneself" would be the appropriate response.

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2009-07-14T10:07:00.000-04:00

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2009-07-13T10:11:00.001-04:00

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2009-07-09T13:37:00.000-04:00

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2009-07-08T10:10:00.000-04:00

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2009-07-07T12:51:00.000-04:00

And today, we bid farewell...

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2009-07-06T10:55:00.000-04:00

Couldn't locate this cool one without the lame "motivational" framing. But badass regardless.

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2009-07-01T10:26:00.001-04:00

A yearbook photo of a young Conor Oberst. How anyone is surprised is beyond me.

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2009-06-29T10:06:00.000-04:00

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2009-06-26T09:46:00.000-04:00

Michael Jackson, not the resultant creature that passed last night, but as I'd prefer to remember him...Captain EO.

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2009-06-25T09:36:00.000-04:00

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2009-06-24T09:40:00.000-04:00

It has come to my attention that some of you, dear friends, are unfamiliar with the abominable act known as brokeNCYDE. This"crunk/screamo" terror is what we in the field like to call the decline of Western civilization.

Try to watch the whole thing without your ears bleeding. Welcome to the new world.

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2009-06-23T00:22:00.002-04:00

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2009-06-22T12:05:00.001-04:00

Sarcasm is love. Best way to protest

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2009-06-19T12:15:00.000-04:00

Your "We're Doomed" moment of the day.

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2009-06-18T10:37:00.001-04:00

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2009-06-17T09:06:00.001-04:00

I wonder who won?

Happy Birthday, Internets

2009-06-15T11:37:00.001-04:00

As some of you may know, today is the birthday of a great man.....

Neil Patrick Harris

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2009-06-12T14:09:00.000-04:00

This GMI is brought to you by one of our sponsors, Jen Wood. Jen Wood: American's Finest Chumscrubbers Since 1936!

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2009-06-09T13:34:00.000-04:00

Well, someone sure took it literally.

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2009-06-08T12:47:00.001-04:00

Jesus has new priorities these days...

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2009-06-05T12:50:00.000-04:00

My friend Desirae claims to love anything green tea. Well, Des, I've got a dare for ya.

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2009-06-04T11:30:00.000-04:00

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2009-06-03T16:29:00.001-04:00

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2009-06-02T08:55:00.001-04:00

I think Nic Cage my be starring in the most awesome terrible movie of the year. Watch this entire trailer. I'm convinced it's post modern art. It's got that hilarious "I can't believe they're fucking doing this quality to it." The last bit about "soul dancing" is king.

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2009-06-01T15:54:00.000-04:00

That's one chill squirrel.

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2009-05-28T12:44:00.000-04:00

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2009-05-27T10:45:00.000-04:00

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2009-05-26T09:05:00.003-04:00

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2009-05-22T11:22:00.000-04:00

Those faces scream "Does.Not.Want!"

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2009-05-21T10:21:00.001-04:00

Nope. This photo isn't shopped nor has it been manipulated.

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2009-05-20T10:05:00.001-04:00

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2009-05-19T10:08:00.001-04:00

They're baaack!

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2009-05-18T16:35:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the Houdini act, friends. My computer at work had been on an iron lung for the last week. As some of you know, I generally do my search/posting for my good morning salute to you all first thing when I get to my office job in the mornings. However, over the last month, my computer has shown signs of illness, developing into full blown AIDS last week.

After the equivalent of the internet rain dance and some frenetic surgery today, it's at least hobbling along. Not 100%, but it's in working order and I can definitely use it to bring it back to full strength.

And this kid's hair is boss...

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2009-05-08T13:56:00.000-04:00

Best. Tattoo.Ever.

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2009-05-07T10:59:00.002-04:00

To celebrate the special day...

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2009-05-06T09:17:00.001-04:00

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2009-05-05T11:14:00.000-04:00

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2009-05-04T13:04:00.000-04:00

Bryant introduced me to Mr. Darrell Bluett. On YouTube, he has gained a reputation as "The Worst Comedian." However, I believe the case is quite the contrary. From his mispronunciations to his awkward movements, Darrell Bluett's what Bryant refers to as "the original madman himself."

If you watch this video only once, you will probably find little humor in it. Watch it two, even three times. The hilarity comes more with each new viewing and he's quite the gentleman to quote!

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2009-04-29T11:55:00.001-04:00

The origins of Swine Flu

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2009-04-28T13:21:00.002-04:00

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2009-04-27T14:16:00.002-04:00

"Uh uh. You poke it."

*Yes, I am aware this is Photoshopped. No, I don't care.*

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2009-04-24T09:56:00.000-04:00

Location. Location. Location.

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2009-04-23T10:06:00.002-04:00

I kind of loved this.

(If you can't read it, click on the image and you'll be taken to my photobucket page where you can enlarge it.)

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2009-04-22T12:46:00.001-04:00

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2009-04-21T10:53:00.002-04:00

Good Morning, Internets

2009-04-20T12:45:00.001-04:00

Did you think we'd forget your b-day, big guy?

Introducing...MylesFM

2009-04-16T16:46:00.008-04:00

While I've been incapable to keep up a consistent output of The Weekly Wank for whatever reason, I'm going to try something else that I'm calling MylesFM. I set up a Playlist account so that I can create and share playlists, which is a far more entertaining and interactive.

I'll do my best to provide further insights of tracks akin to what I was doing with The Weekly Wank, but more often than not that will be further meditated on or edited in a little after the fact. Each and every playlist will likely have a title and short description. For example, I randomly created the debut while driving around on my lunch this afternoon. It's entitled Kick Start, which is described as "a handful of spontaneous pop-infused sing-a-longs for upswinging drives in temperate spring afternoons and other pleasantries." Meaning this particular entry was not really pre-meditated at all.

So, check out what I select, discuss it, pop it up as background noise, or log on and create your own playlists to share..whatever you like. Bitching, however, will be ignored or made fun of. Or you wake up one morning to find a large man in a beaver suit looking hungrily at you with a hack saw. Oh, and give the player a minute or two to load up. Then press play and enjoy the fun!

Anyone who wishes to have a burned copy and can't do so themselves, I'll be happy to supply one.

I Mean It This Time, I Promise

2009-04-16T12:38:00.002-04:00

Plan to commence bloggery once more at a more steady pace. Of course, I make and break this promise often, but this time, I totally mean it...again.

In the mean time, check out the excellent looking trailer for April Showers, a film about the aftermath of a high school shooting rather than focusing on the shooting itself. It's written/directed by Andrew Robinson, a senior at Columbine High School at the time of the shootings in '99.

P.S. My pals in Wheatus contribute some new tracks to the film's soundtrack, one of which were written exclusively for the film.

Now begone.

Good Morning, Internets

2009-04-16T10:22:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Uncle Warren

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2009-04-15T10:08:00.000-04:00

You have got to be fucking with me...

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2009-04-14T10:25:00.001-04:00

Oops

2009-04-13T12:28:00.001-04:00

Ohai. Now's a good time to run.

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2009-04-10T13:23:00.002-04:00

Epic.

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2009-04-09T10:01:00.000-04:00

Oh, fuck off.

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2009-04-08T09:58:00.000-04:00

Everyone should do this to every stop sign they come across.

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2009-04-06T09:45:00.001-04:00

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2009-04-03T13:04:00.002-04:00

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2009-04-02T09:53:00.001-04:00

When I grabbed this photo, the file was listed as "Prom Night Dumpster Baby."

The Haunting In Connecticut (review)

2009-04-01T01:55:00.000-04:00

As I've made it very clear before, I love ghost stories, and I am more than fond of haunted house films, a subgenre we haven't seen too much of in the 2000's.

I've personally found ghost stories tend to get to the heart of horror. Horror, by it's very namesake, is an attempt to tap into the viewers' fear. Through the tales of the unknown or unexplained, the genre's mission remains to merely evoke the emotion of fear.

Through this broad and admittedly purposely sparse definition (I went into more detail here), ghost stories best emulate the genre because they are grounded in a blurred reality.

Many believe in the existence of ghosts, or, at the very least the possibility of it. Some for religious reasons, others due to experience, and there are those who simply concede the unexplained no matter what path of life they have chosen.

Well told ghost stories exploit this acceptance and pinpoint one of the few reasons real people have to fear the dark. More specifically, like the locales or characters in the stories, well told ghost stories will haunt you, and that lasting impression will be the reason your mind darts from the logical every time the house settles in the middle of the night.

This is my criteria for legitimate attempts at ghost /haunted house films. It's a strict standard, but if a haunting fails to unnerve me in anyway, it's a failure.

So does The Haunting in Connecticut meet these standards? Well, yes and no.

Yes because there is an excellent story here, however, the rookie director does not have enough faith either in himself or the story not to employ the now conventional genre cliches (also referred to as MTV Directing), which softens the impact of both the story and some extremely tense moments.

Let's cover two sore spots for horror fans first: the PG-13 rating and "based on a true story."

I can't count the number of horror fans I saw jump down this film's throat at the announcement The Haunting in Connecticut was rated PG-13, a knee-jerk reaction to the fear that successful horror films NOT rated R will result in a declawing of the genre.

However, the fact of the matter is that most of the things that require an R rating are not necessary to tell good ghost stories. Many of film's better haunting tales aren't R. Hell, the original The Haunting is Rated G. I have no problem with a non-R rated ghost story.

As for the "true story" element. Let's face it, the people are trying to sell a movie. The writer wants his script sold. The studios want people to buy tickets. What better way to get audience than to say the film is based off a real haunted house?

The Haunting In Connecticut isn't just based off any old haunting, it's based off one of the American hauntings. But what many people don't understand is that being based on a true story doesn't translate as "the film you are watching is an accurate account of the everything that happened." No. It's based on a true story, not the true story itself. It's merely a piece of fiction based upon/inspired by something that did (allegedly) happen.

The film sets up rather quickly. The Campbell family moves to a vacant house in Connecticut in order to to be closer to the hospital where Matt, the family's older son, receives treatment for cancer.

Matt's a candidate for a trial test for cancer therapy. Part of his candidacy depends on how the treatments effect him. If he begins experiencing visual and auditory hallucinations, he could lose his spot in the experiment.

The beginning of the treatment coincides with the family's move into a new home, where Matt immediately starts having vivid nightmares that blend into his waking life. You can guess where the film goes from here: the haunting escalates until eventually the entire family becomes involved. That's not spoiling anything for anyone.

I found the early isolation of the Matt-specific haunting very interesting. Because Matt, fantastically portrayed by Kyle Gallner, receives an experimental treatment that causes hallucinations, the viewer is left to wonder whether or not it's all in his head.

At this point, I didn't mind what I perceive to be one of the film's glaring flaws: the extensive use of CGI, particularly the ghosts.

It reminded me of The Exorcism of Emily Rose, which used CGI demons and imagery. Initially, I was irritated with what I found to be the overusage of CGI. However, the film lent itself to scrutiny about whether or not Emily was actually possessed, and the CGI gave the film a surreal off-kilter look which actually helped it's ambiguous goal.

Unfortunately, that's not the case with The Haunting in Connecticut. Once the rest of the family is directly involved with the supernatural events, and its clear that its not being fabricated by Matt's mind, the CGI is no longer forgivable.

I'm not sure if Hollywood's aware, but CGI ghosts? Not scary. Not in the slightest.

Furthermore, it separates the audiences farther from that blur between reality and imagination. I'm not proposing the lack of special effects at all, but rather a less digital means of presenting the ghost on screen. Use real actors. They're there for a reason. If you're going to go through all the trouble to cast someone for flashback scenes, you may as well use them for more of the haunting sequences. Many great scenes are marred by ghosts that, while conceptually effective, look a bit too much like they were ripped out of Resident Evil 5 and pasted onto the screen to have any lasting effect.

The film's other grave sin the misuse of soundtrack. Apparently, the filmmakers don't trust us to know when we're supposed to be frightened. So, to remind us, they use a screeching violin to jump out every single time. A soundtrack is an amazing tool to establish a mood or tension, but when it's used to force the scares, it shows how little faith the filmmakers have in their abilities to set up a scene.

I can empathize with Peter Cornwell. This is his first full length feature, which he was doing for a major studio with some high profile marketing. Essentially, his commercial career was on the line. I can understand going a mainstream route to directing a feature like this, but by playing it safe, he missed a grand opportunity to tell a terrifying tale.

The story and fabricated history are rich, which is a surprise considering the film's scripted by the guy who brought us Carnosaur and Bones (The Snoop Dogg movie, not the show). There's even a small mythology at work in The Haunting In Connecticut. Strong enough is the haunting tale that despite the movie's glaring flaws, the end product comes out ok.

My only real caveat with the story is the half-assed side plot about the father's one-time alcohol problem. It's established early on in the story and revisited in the second act, but very clumsily. In fact, I'm absolutely certain it was only executed to give actor Martin Donovan (Saved, Weeds) something to do.

The Haunting in Connecticut is one of the better haunted house movies to come out in a while, and while the filmmakers didn't dare to take any risks to scare the audience, the generally strong performances and fascinating core story are enough to make the film enjoyable. It won't stack up against some of the stiffer competition in horror cinema, but it's still a fun little romp.

Theatrical Release Date: March 27, 2009

Director: Peter Cornwell

Cast: Virginia Madsen
Kyle Gallner
Elias Koteas
Amanda Crew
Martin Donovan

Overall Rating: 6.8/10

Good Morning, Internets

2009-03-30T10:04:00.001-04:00

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2009-03-27T12:45:00.000-04:00

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2009-03-26T09:51:00.001-04:00

Behold.

Where The Wild Things Are

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2009-03-25T12:22:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of Dennis:
Turtle Rapes Shoe

Good Morning, Internets

2009-03-23T10:56:00.001-04:00

The new official seal of disapproval...